Aug
17
Positively negative
by Sofia - in Random
Do you know the kind of people that drain the life out of you with their negativity? The ones that come to a party, or a lunch date or to work and always start with how tired, unsatisfied, irritated or plain old bored of life they are. I´m not talking about people who sometimes have a bad day and feel like you are the kind of person who can cheer them up. I´m not talking about people who now and then vent about an issue or another. I´m not talking about people who sometimes feel the need to talk about another person because something is wrong or they did something that annoyed them. We all are that person sometimes. But I´m talking about the kind of people who are always leaning at least a tad to the negative radar. And often find fault in almost any situation or circumstance. I really struggle to keep those people in my life. I know it´s a whole different thing having real troubles or worries and that is not what I mean. I mean the “eat away from your positivity” kind of people.
I have noticed that some often seem super perky and happy on social media but when you see them in real life they just always start with something to complain about ( there are also those who always complain on social media as well). I sometimes wonder if they even realise it themselves. As we all know a positive mood from another person can change our day for the better. This kind of negativity is also catching. Either we start feeling low ourselves or at the very least we do not feel like being ourselves around these people on a good day as we can hear the eye rolls happening in their heads for thinking a rainy day may actually look so pretty ( just a silly example, you can stop rolling yours!).
I was wondering how you deal with people who eat away from your mood? Do you just ignore the complaining? Do you try to change their mood for the better? Do you just cut them out of your life? What if they are colleagues and you can´t?
On the other hand let´s talk about the fine mood we get in to when we meet people who are looking at the bright side of life. Who are enthusiastic about life or what they do. Who find the silver lining in most situations. I love being with these kind of people ( and hope that I am one of them when I´m not dead tired or having a one off bad day). The good mood is so catching. I think a lot of it has to do with being grateful for the little things and enjoying the moment. It´s about getting excited about small stuff ( doesn´t have to be rainy days!). I get so much energy from positive people! You know that person that you talk to on the phone that leaves you feeling all giddy and happy. Or the colleague you always find fun to work with and leave work feeling refreshed and excited. Even if something happens it´s worth a giggle instead of a frown.
Let´s choose to be that person to each other. It´s ok to have bad days & sad days and larger than life worries are a whole different chapter. But on a daily bases when nothing is actually so wrong in our lives let´s try to enjoy the moment. And pass that mood on!
And today I get to experience the best kind of being. Being with your bestie from since you were 7 & 8. It´s the kind of being that has packed a lifetime of knowing each other. All the people that came and went and all the growing pains and gains. The jokes that no one else gets and even should. The kind of being where you really just are and can tell the other person if they are being obnoxious ( even though they never are). All weekend long of this with our families on an island. I can´t think of anything I would rather do this weekend!
Have a really really good and lovely and fine weekend! And let´s remember to try to be the kind of person to each other that lift others moods and spirits. That make others feel special and happy. Let´s encourage each others choices and embrace the things we are excited about.
Lattemamma
Irtisanoin reilu vuosi sitten erään ihmissuhteen, mikä teki myös minusta negatiivisen. Oli kamalaa havahtua siihen, miten toisen jatkuva negatiivisuus kaikkea kohtaan ruokki omaa ”badmoodia” ja lopulta omasta onnesta ja ilosta tunti syyllisyyttä. Kamalaa! Ihankuin kahleet olis tipahtaneet pois kun suljin hänet pois elämästäni. Yllättävän kauan oli ”krapula” kyseistä ihmisestä ennenkuin sai omat ajatusmallit taas takaisin. Elämänlaatuni parani niin paljon koska oikeasti elämä on upeaa, kaunista ja jokaisen onnentunteen arvoista!
Saara onneksi pääsit hänestä ” eroon” henkisesti ja fyysisesti.
When I think about dealing with disagreeable people, I think about “Story of a Soul” and how everyone struggles with this—even Saints! One of the suggestions Saint Therese offers in her diary is not to engage in the negativity, but instead find a graceful(and cheerful) way to change the subject to something agreeable. I love this idea, as it offers me the challenge to build on my skills of wit and grace(two things I struggle with, but wish I could master). I suppose you could look at people like this as a bit like a workout.
-Laura
Laura, so well said!