You know what I´m really dreaming of right now. Sipping my morning coffee, the one with perfectly frothed milk on top in the new apartment. I can imagine myself tiptoeing around the house when we have just settled in and gotten everything in it´s place. I will have the coffee cup cradled between my hands and I can inhale the feeling of a brand new apartment that I will from then on call home.
I remember my first days in new apartments very vividly. The giddy feeling of something new and good starting. When everything is still fresh and there are no chips in paint or dents anywhere. No scrapes and scratches. Those that you later on will eventually get and those that will be part of your memories. The ones that annoy you at first but then after a while you don´t see them anymore. Before that. When it´s all ahead of you but all just in place just the way you had wanted to and imagined it. That moment, that feeling is amazing. You can just walk around and think ” wow it really happened”. Because dreams do come true sometimes. Every time I have been in a new home I have thought ” Is this really mine?” ” Did this really happen?” and I love that moment so much. When you feel a little like you are in a dream or a movie and still at the same time you realise it is your life.
It does not mean that you need to have a penthouse on Park Avenue to have that feeling. I felt it in my first own apartment that was 26 m2. It was mine, it looked mine, it had all my things in it. I remember I first went in to the new home after coming from Milan ( I was working there sporadically at that time) and my mom had unpacked for me. She had bought flower boxes and gorgeous flowers for my windowsill. And ( this is a very vivid memory to me) she had bought a small cookbook about ice-cream Sundays with pink on the cover for my teeny tiny kitchenette. It is to this day one of my favourites. It was just so me. All of it. Knowing my mom she had probably lit candles and my dad had stocked the fridge I´m sure. But it was mine. It was not the first time I was living on my own. My brother had had two apartment before that and I had actually lived in both of them. In one when he went to the army I think ( I don´t know why and how he let me). And in one when he moved to Paris before starting University. But this was my very own place. And my oh my what parties, dinner parties, after parties and all sorts of gatherings I hosted there. I made whole three course dinners in that tiny kitchenette and brunches for big bunches of people I think back to now and wonder how.
The first apartment my husband ( then boyfriend) and I had together was also renovated from scratch as was the one that came after that ( that I was living in whilst writing this blog so you know that one well). The first one was in the same building as my first apartment so I sort of just moved one door down. We had old wooden floors that we painted white ( my dream)! I remember walking around the apartment with my bare feet after I had slept there for the first time. It was also the first time I moved in with someone. I had had roommates on my modelling housings many times but it was an always changing stream of us girls sharing apartments, people coming and going and all we had of our own things were the suitcases of clothes and make up we came and went with ( all though I always bought my own sheets and towels). Anyway there I was in the 80 m2 apartment sharing it with this guy I was madly in love with ( we actually bought the apartment after having been dating for about 6 months so I quite literally was just that… not that I´m not in love anymore but then it was the early lovebirds stage). I had come from a work trip and bought a huge bunch of pink roses. The apartment was quite empty as we had not shopped for all of our furniture yet. I remember thinking how lucky I was to have my dream floors. I have always loved wide wooden beam floors painted white ( now we have them on the island!). White floors and pink roses and the man of my dreams.
I hope this next home will be the one we can live in for a while. Hopefully at least until the kids move out. I loved our previous apartment so much and we made a beautiful home for us there but it was always supposed to be temporary. Now the girls have their own rooms and bathroom so they can grown up to be teenagers in their own privacy and then at some point move to their own homes. Perhaps the one I had with the ice-cream Sundays book. I still have that place and I think I will never be able to part with it.
Did this bring back good memories of your first mornings in your homes? Soon, so very soon the new house is ready and I will let you know how it feels to walk around in the heavenly morning light of that place.