May
5
In my 30´s
by Sofia - in Random
Oh lovelies, it´s my last month as a 30 somethings. I know us ladies are not supposed to reveal our age but I think I have done it so many times you can probably count anyway. Besides I don´t think age defines us at all. As a friend said it does give you a certain amount of authority to talk about some things but that is only in relation to someone younger than you. And it´s a positive angle to ageing too! I have always been an old soul of sorts, I have had no trouble being friends with people much older that I. Neither do I have trouble being friends with people much younger than I. I just like people for who they are, how they think and act. So in that sense age is just a number and I´m not shy to tell you mine. Besides I don´t think 40 is old. I can say for certain my dad is now old but he is 86 and he has just lately started to feel “old”. So let´s not get hung up in numbers in that sense.
But it is important to recognise these milestones in our lives. Some come with age related crisis. Have I achieved what I wanted? Am I where I thought I was supposed to be in my life? I think the more ambitious you are or the more you set yourself goals in life the more you may suffer from these age related crisis. Especially if you are not exactly where you thought you were. I have never been a very ambitious person, or I may be, but in things that are not set in time limited goals. But I do know for a fact that if by my 30´th birthday I would not have found the love of my life and had my first baby I may well have had a bit of a crisis. It was my biggest life goal. To be a mom. I did not necessarily want to be a young mom ( which I was´t, I was somewhere in the middle) but by my late 20´s I had such an aching to have a baby, to be pregnant and to have a baby it was all I could think about. And every time I think of that time my heart goes out to all the mothers who never came to be but wanted it as badly as I did. Because if you have experienced baby fever you know it´s not just an ” I guess it´s time and a baby would be cute” sort of feeling. It´s an all consuming ache indescribable to those who never felt it. But by my 30´s I held my 6 month old baby girl in my arms and had no cares in the world. I was exactly where I wanted to be. I do know however that these age related crisis are also not set in stone. The day you turn 40 the crisis will start. It may come much later or before. But at this time I´m not sure if I have anything in my life that I feel would make me feel like 40´s is bad. It may come later and then I must let it.
I do wish I could have a lovely party as I had planned but unfortunately it is cancelled for now. I hope maybe later this year I still get to celebrate the change of a decade of my own with my friends and family. I do love a good party!
For now I will make the most of my life being a 30 something for a few more weeks. I will run outside, I will go to the island to breath fresh sea air. I will do things I enjoy! Read books, write, listen to beautiful music, cook, bake, enjoy time with our girls, cuddle with my husband. Watch a tv show, talk with friends. I will paint with my water colours, I finally started cross stitching and I will play around with my calligraphy pens. It´s not like there are not things I enjoy I can´t do even in this situation. I have high hopes that even though I can´t have my big party in June I may be able to meet up with some friends. Or if I´m lucky I can meet my parents.
Have a lovely day!
Lattemmma