Jul
6

Letting go

by Sofia   -   in Random

Do you have trouble letting go of items of importance, stages of life, saying even temporary goodbyes to people you love? I am definitely the kind of person who gets teary eyed at the last Spring recital of pre-school, hugging a loved teacher goodbye, I mourn a lost toy if it was a very important one to my child and so on. Moving houses would be very high on my list for things to mourn. Even if it were time to say goodbye and move along in life I find it hard to even think about letting go of important memories, not walking up the familiar stairs my children first crawled up, then walked with wobbly feet and now jump two stair at a time. Even the thought of it kills me and brings tears to my eyes.

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I know people who love moving along in life, they find it exhilarating. The children´s milestones are just that, milestones on a forward moving life. To me they are mileposts where I stop and look back at time and get all sentimental.

I wonder how, where and why we humans got built up so differently. So many time someone has told me I´m silly or ” you are really not going to cry are you?” or ” you are so ” sweet” ” , but the emphasis on the word sweet speaks more for sentimental fool. I literally started crying at our last “Neuvola” or baby & child nurses meeting a few weeks back when we went in with both girls and the nurse hugged them and wished them well in life and told us how much she has enjoyed all these years with our family ( I have had the same person from the first time I got pregnant over 9 years ago). We bought her a pretty bouquet of pink peonies to say proper thank you´s and good bye´s and when I told this to my friend she basically just said ” Sofia” in the tone that says “are you nuts?”.

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Don´t get me wrong. I´m always enjoying the moment as much as I can and planning and daydreaming my future daily. I already dream of days when the girls are older, when they get their first boy ( or girl)friends. I can even imagine what kind of grandmother I would be. What I can do with my husband when the girls want to do their thing and it´s just us two etc. I´m not opposed to moving ahead. I love planning a ” next apartment” ( bigger and better of course like we would even need such) and I love the thought of a lovely future ahead. But yet, I can not help but always feel so sentimental and sad when a certain part of our lives is left behind. A certain phase. it´s like finishing a really really good book and being a little sad it´s over even though you could not stop reading to spare it to last a little longer.

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But this weekend I will stand still in life. Stand still with my family and my friends. I will hold my brand new goddaughter and be just there in that moment. Because I know that in a blink of an eye I will stand in her confirmation and look back to that moment with tears in my eyes and wonder where all the years went and how life blessed me with so much beauty and joy that it makes me cry as I am so utterly thankful.

Have the loveliest weekend!

Lattemamma

p.s. Girls pictured at the castle where we spent midsummer. More about their beautiful Nona K bespoke dresses later with detailed pictures. These photos are more for beautiful memories. 

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4 comments on “ Letting go „
Ita, on July 6, 2018

You had me in tears!! Totally get you.

Meri, on July 6, 2018

I’m totally like that as well. For example now with a baby, I’m almost sad knowing how fast this first year will be gone by. A little sily, but…

Niina, on July 18, 2018

Tiedän niin, mistä kirjoitat. Meillä on tiedossa muutto ensi keväänä tai kesänä ja vaikka se on toivottu ja positiivinen asia, katselen jo nyt haikeana tätä kotia ja kaikkia niitä muistoja joita se pitää sisällään. Minä olen myös se, jonka kasvot ovat kyynelistä märät lasten juhlissa ja esityksissä, syntymäpäivinä, hyvästellessä ystäviä joita tietää tapaavansa liian harvoin tai kun näen jonkin tilanteen jonka tiedän tuovan paljon iloa ja onnea ympärilleen. Mutta olen ajatellut, että niin kauan kuin minulla on aihetta onnenkyyneliin, elämässä on kaikki hyvin. Aurinkoista viikkoa! <3

Sofia, on July 19, 2018

Niina, Meri and Ita, my kindred spirits. <3

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