Oct
9

If I could say…

by Sofia   -   in Random

Strong women come in many shapes and sizes. Not only physically. Sometimes we seems to think that if a woman is a little more quiet or a little nicer than the average she is weak. A strong woman makes up her mind and will not be bent even in a hurricane of different viewpoints. A strong woman can be opinionated to the point of being mean because she has a ” a strong female voice”. A child misbehaving and bossing others around is a ” future leader walking her own path”. And it may well be so. I am not saying it is not. I am not saying they are not. But women can be strong in different ways. Politeness does not mean you are weak. Knowing your manners does not mean you are oppressed.

Even something very delicate can be very powerful.

We definitely do not have to raise our girls to be tea drinking dolls that is for sure ( mine love tea but dolls they are not). They know they have the right to defend themselves, they have the right to their own opinion ( but should also learn to listen to others and the reasoning behind those) and to leave situations they don´t want to be in. They definitely know when to put their foot down and hold their own. But they do have to also learn respect, kindness & manners. I want them to be strong women but not just by demanding loudly. Because I don´t think it´s necessarily anything other than bullying to do so. My girls don´t need to ask things from their father because he is a man and says the last word ( or something other as silly) they need to ask his opinion on certain matters because he is the other parent in this household raising them. He is as responsible for their upbringing as I am. We share the load, the responsibility and the failures and the successes of our trial and errors. And he has a bit of an extra burden as he realises that the way he treats his girls ( including his wife by example) will be sort of an standard for how they will be allowed to be treated by other men later on in life. And who would ever want their own daughters to be treated poorly by others, men or women.

When I think of strong women I think of women who are courageous to speak up about things that are wrong or need change but they don´t do it by hurting others. I also think of women who selflessly work ” in the shadows”. Not everyone needs the spotlight to make things better or right. Strong can also be quiet and soft it is not a synonym for hard and loud. And please don´t get me wrong, things that need change also need that voice. But it is not only the voice that is strong.

Are you raising strong independent ( still little) women? What is your viewpoint?

Lattemamma

p.s. I have a friend who told me my blog is not feminist ( enough). Obviously in between the ” how to iron a shirt” and ” how cute are these floral dresses” it is not very prominently featured. And my blog has always been about subject matters that do not raise eyebrows ( in other than annoyance in some who think it´s too sweet), no religion, politics, money. But hey, I do feel the strong responsibility of raising girls in to this world and I do it so very proudly in my new Liberty print half apron that might even have a few frills on it and while cooking dinner for my family ( fyi husband cooked it three times in the last week). Because feminism is not about not baking and not cooking and not wearing Stepford wife´ish  outfits. It´s about a lot of things but also about being just the kind of woman that feels right for you. And letting other women be the kind of women they like to be without judging or constantly competing.