May
15

How are you?

by Sofia   -   in Random

I hope you are all doing well. I’ve actually been great lately although I can’t say the horrific news from the world have not gotten under my skin and in to my heart. But in my very personal life I have been quite happy recently. I have a fun few trips in my agenda, both leisure. I am so happy to be traveling the world again. It’s just so important to me although I am a homebody and always enjoy coming home. But these travels, they inspire me so much. And I must admit that being able to invite friends for dinner parties and planning all these get togethers and parties is really making me very excited.

If you don’t tell anyone I quite liked spending extra time with just my family in the last couple of years and getting up to speed with many household goals I had been putting aside for a rainy day but I am more than ready to socialize again. I get so much energy from other people and I get pleasure for doing things for others so this has given me a new burst of energy.

I am turning 42 in less than a few weeks. When people tell you 40´s is the best time of your life I think they might be right. Even if I do think any age can be the best time of your life and even should be. But let me explain…

Although you may start to “deteriorate” look wise, if you think of things in that perspective, you gain things in wisdom. I have to admit that all this look talk has been on my mind lately as it’s been coming from all angles towards me. I wrote down my 10 cents on the weight/ size conversation on instagram. My bottom line was for us to find something to balance out a look oriented look on life ( pun intended) and to try and find something else to fulfill our lives with. I am not saying it’s wrong to feel unhappy about the way you look or the ” extra” kilos you may be carrying around. It’s very common and very natural and as I noted I too sometimes find myself looking at a picture of myself and feeling a little down. But the bottom line is, we do not need to all be size small or size medium. Large does not equal bad or worse. As long as we are healthy and make taking care of our well being a priority no one can say small is better. Small is not worse either. These are all just sizes. As I stated I would much rather be remembered as the ” Sofia who was really nice and kind to people” than the ” Sofia who was so thin and never aged a day in her life”. Let’s add substance rather than worry about looks. I would be much more worried if I looked like my ideal me but was just an awful cranky person people were afraid to say anything to. I know one does not have to cancel out the other, it’s just an example.

When it comes to aging I must say, I have always found older people beautiful. I loved my grandmother and thought she was the most beautiful thing even with all her wrinkles and greying hair. She wasn’t the kind to doll up, she was the single mom who skied competitively and rode her old bicycle everywhere. She was so amazing and loving and caring and generous and kind. I miss her so much and she is a statement to beauty that comes from something different than just being pretty and looking younger than your years. Aging gracefully. Having different kind of substance. She if anyone was an independent woman way ahead of her time. Oh the beauty there can be found in the world if we stop listening to what people say we should be or look like and start enjoying ourselves for what we are.

Then coming to the wisdom part that comes with aging. I sometimes feel like I got a few things figured out before others but was way behind in other things. I learned a long time ago not to envy and to be grateful. I learned that reality does not always match your vision but when you let things unfold the way they do it may end up being better. I learned to enjoy the smallest things in life and to catch the thinnest silver linings on the clouds. I learned that if I´m having a bad day, taking it out on others will under no circumstances make me feel better. But I always wanted people to feel so comfortable around me I would bend over backwards just to make everyone else feel good. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing unless you stumble upon people in your life who take advantage of others kindness. That is the 40´s lesson I have learned in the first few years and especially this last year. I can tell people to back off if they make me feel uncomfortable or I can just let them go if they don’t add anything good in to my life. And I have stopped apologizing for things I have no need to apologize for. And I know I’ve been talking about this a lot before, it has been my goal. But finally at 41 I have actually accomplished it. At least partially. Is it wrong to say I’m proud of it. Probably, but I still am. I’m the person who does not really stress about life but having to send a text message that someone might get upset with gets my heart racing and my stomach forms a pit. But now I’ve done it and it wasn´t so bad. I still avoid conflict if I can though and that I think will always be a part of me. Some of us just don´t really mix and match well even if we sort of really wanted to. We rub each other the wrong way. I have come to terms with the fact a long time ago that my positive outlook on life irritates a certain type of people. Some mistake it for naïveté and find it annoying. I sort of understand it. I’m an empathetic person. I see where people come from. I just can’t change who I am and how I am. I don’t want to change it. And I on the other hand find their directness intrusive and upsetting. We are all good people but just different.

But oh how blessed I have also been in my life to have so many amazing friends in it. It’s just incredible. I don’t know how or why I ever have deserved so many lovely persons around me. So all in all everything is well.

Let me know how you are? Any good revelations you have come to lately? Or been dealing with for a longer time and finally feel like you’ve figured it out?

I would love for you to think of three things about yourself that you absolutely adore that have nothing to do with the way you look! And why not think of things that you love about your look too but don’t limit them. Don’t do the ” I guess I like my eyes but I wish I could change my…” thing. Think of some nice things people said to you and erase the negative. We dwell so much on the negative feedback but have a hard time grasping all the lovely words. They fade away in to a blur while the hurtful things can sometimes sting for years. Let’s let them go. What’s the nicest thing anyone ever said to you?

Have a great day & a lovely week!

Sofia